Happy Monday everyone!
12
September 2014
Sometimes
A Cup of Coffee Doesn't Want to Be a Cup of Coffee
Every
morning it is cold and quiet. A yawny, groggy, half awake human trods
down the stairs and makes me. I am the ever glorious cup of coffee
that most people look forward to as soon as they wake up. Life as a
cup of coffee is rather pleasant. I am piping hot, I smell
invigorating and I bring joy and warmth every day to countless souls.
This is all grand except I feel as if my life could be better. Once
people are awake they are done with me. I believe life would be far
more superior as a chocolate chip cookie. Everyone loves chocolate
chip cookies. Children excitedly make them with their parents. Tiny,
or not so tiny, bites are taken from the dough. Happy hands roll and
mold perfect little rounds of sugary delight. With glee, people dash
for the oven once the timer goes off and cautious hands scoop the
cookies off the hot pan. Warm, gooey cookies are gobbled up and sooth
hungry stomachs. When cookies cool down they still taste delicious
but when I get cold I taste bitter and get thrown down the drain. I
want to be appreciated and desired by famished people, not under
appreciated for my caffeine and needed for that sole purpose. I
suppose life isn't all that bad. Folks of all ages do love me. So I
shall sit in my cupboard and dream about a toasty oven when I am
filled with coffee.
13
September 2014
Pink
Lamps and Freaky Europeans
Once
upon a time there were two best friends named Javaneh and Nakita.
Both saw a movie that gave them chills and inspired a dialog to rival
all dialogs. This is the story of how hilarity ensued.
Nakita:
oh.
my. god. As Above, So Below was SO creepy. I'm still freaked out...I
may not sleep tonight. I've not been this freaked out by a movie
since I was like 8. and I like it. Good job movie. thanks for having
that awesome last minute idea Jeremy
you
missed out Jeremiah.
Javaneh:
Wasn't it so good!!!
Nakita:
SO good. But now I have a new reason to not want to go to Paris...
specifically the catacombs lol
Javaneh:
Oh my god that makes me want to go even more!!! People have really
gotten lost! Oh and that club they go into to find Papillon... That's
a real club under a bridge. We passed by it while we were exploring
the Sunday street markets!!!
Nakita:
F*** that creepy chic at that club but I liked that guy they found in
the club.
Ah!
So much adrenaline from that movie!!
Also
when I say I don't want to go it means I really do wanna go so I can
freak the crap out of myself.
Javaneh:Yeah
that chic freaked me out! Apparently you can hire guides to sneak you
into the catacombs if you don't want to wait for the tour but people
have died doing that.
And
this is where Nakita became insane.
Nakita:
I would only do it that way I think.
Go
big or go home
ESPECIALLY
after that movie haha
Javaneh:
Okay that's it we are going to Paris but let's take a real tour of
the catacombs. It's far too risky to sneak in. Too many people have
died that's why they police it.
Jeremy:
So bad ass!!!!
Sorry
Jeremy, we proceeded to ignore your only comment.
Nakita:
You and I can take a real tour but I really wanna sneak in too...
that sounds bad ass. When it's your time it's your time right. I
don't wanna die a boring death.
And
this is where the momma bear in me came in.
Javaneh:
Being lost in a dark underground, staving to death and suffocating
does not sound like an exciting death...
Nakita:
It does to me! It may not sound fun but it's sure as hell not boring
Javaneh:
It would be so boring!!!! Just waiting and waiting to die! It would
take you so long to die!
Nakita:
at least ppl would talk about it. At least it's not dying in y bed or
some dumb shit.
Javaneh:
If they knew about it :P you would just disappear never to be found
and your family would always be looking for you, wondering where your
body was. Beside a boring death isn't the tragedy, a boring life is.
I would rather live an exciting life and die in my sleep than die too
soon without having lived.
Nakita:
You're assuming I'll die tho. That's the problem. Sneaking into the
catacombs and surviving would be plenty exciting.. a lot of ppl die
but not everyone does apparently or else no one would sneak in.
I'll
just be the one who doesn't die =]
And
this is where the threats begin.
Javaneh:
If you sneak in and live I am buying you like 5 damn hot pink lamps.
Nakita:
That is fine!
But
only in that scenario
There
is no other reason I would be ok with that
lol
Javaneh:
I'm buying you one now to remember that :)
Nakita:
no
I'll
set it on fire
Javaneh:
I'll buy you another one.
Nakita:
I'll light that one on fire
and
eventually Scott will have to cut you off or you'll be homeless!
lol
Javaneh:
I won't buy you one if you hire a legit tour guide, go into a not so
deadly part and tie a rope to where you came in.
Nope
he never will. That's true love!
Some
of these get jumbled and confusing. That's what happens when you text
and are friends.
Nakita:
Then you'll be homeless!
I'll
hire a cheap tour guide and tie a rope.
Javaneh:
Nope they [the lamps] are cheap. I'll never be homeless. Scott makes
too much money.
Nothing
in Paris is cheap.
Nakita:
Haha well there will be lots of fires.
Well
I'll hire the cheapest one I can find.
Javaneh:
You may end up as the homeless one with all those fires.
Nakita:
lol, why?
I'm
not gonna light it on fire in my house
Javaneh:
Just put some real money into it so they don't bring you down there
and sell you to a Parisian whore house where you'll have to do weird
Parisian sex things to pay off your debt for accidentally hiring a
pimp.
I'll
put it in your house so you have to light it on fire in your house!
BAM!
Nakita:
I'll just kill those assholes if they try that shit
even
more excitement!
Javaneh:
You won't be able to they will blow opiates at your face and then cut
off your arms to force you to comply.
Nakita:
lol cuz I can't just pick it up and take it some where or anything
I'll
take it to your house and set it on fire.
Javaneh:
Nope I am super gluing the lamps to your floor and then nailing them
there.
Nakita:
That's super f****d up! Why would anyone wanna have sex with an
armless girl
No!!
Javaneh:
It's Europe why wouldn't they?!?!
Buahahaha
yes!
Nakita:
Europe is f****d up
I'm
not going
No
Paris no pink lamp
all
problems solved.
Javaneh:
Hey you just have to hire a legit guide and we can go. Problem
solved.
Nakita:
Nope
You
just basically told me everyone in Europe is ok with cutting off a
girl's arms and having sex with her. I don't wanna be around ppl like
that.
Javaneh:
Aw come on!! It'll be fun. I'll go with youo.
Nakita:
nope nope nope
Javaneh:
Not everyone... Just the seedy underground freaks of Europe who
steals tourists from bad tour guides.
Come
on Nakita! Haven't you ever seen Hostile?!?!
Nakita:
lol this is a great story
Javaneh:
I'm blowing opiates in your face and taking you.
Nakita:
There's your next story idea
Javaneh:
Hahaha I was just thinking that. I may just copy and paste it for my
next one.
Nakita:
Only if you find opiates that make me think I am a fairy.
Javaneh:
Scott said we are ridiculous.
Okay
deal!
Some
random boring conversation about a story I wrote a long time ago.
Nakita:
That's cuz we are
and
its awesome.
Javaneh:
Super Ninja Pajamaneh powers unite in ridiculousness!
Conversation
about reading my stories because Nakita is a bum at that and we both
decide it is time for bed.
Javaneh:
I'll send ALL of them to you when you go to boot camp...
With
drawings of pink things.
Nakita:
YES!
Nakita
may have said no after this to the pink things but I cannot recall
this... since it is my story I will say it didn't happen and that she
loves pink things. This is why we are best friends.
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