03 December 2013

The Show 'Reign" Makes Me Want To Punch The Writers For It In The Throat

Harsh I know but that show just makes my blood boil! Now I totally understand that an historical drama has to take some artistic license when creating a show. It has to get ratings after all and it needs to keep people interested. Fine. But sometimes they take artistic license and COMPLETELY rewrite history!

There are some key points in the show Reign (which I must admit I have only seen a tiny bit because what I have seen has been too wrong to watch) that just blow historical fact out of the water and do not make the show even slightly accurate to Mary, Queen of Scots time in France.I'll list them here:
  • Mary arrived in France when she was 15 in the show.
  • She is average height and weight with dark eyes and very dark hair.
  • Francis II is a dashing and handsome prince who is occasionally mean to Mary.
  • Francis II has an illegitimate half brother named Sebastian who is in love with Mary.
  • Everyone has a British accent.
  • Apparently prom dresses were an acceptable form of dress in the 16th century.
  • Francis II had mistresses.
  • None of her ladies in waiting are named Mary.
I am going to leave it at that because that is all stuff that happened IN THE FIRST FREAKING EPISODE! I cannot imagine how much worse it got from the pilot. Okay now lets get to the facts.

Mary's Arrival

Mary became Queen of Scots when she was just a day or two old. To ensure her power, her mother was made regent and she was sent to France at the age of 5 to be raised as the betrothed bride of Francis II, the Dauphin of France and future king. This would combine French and Scottish power in Europe. There is no way, no how and no reason Mary would have arrived in France at the age of 15 like the show suggests.

Mary's Appearance 

Being that she was related to the Tudor family (cousin to Elizabeth I and great niece to Henry VIII) she was known to have auburn red hair to bright red hair. She had green t hazel eyes and was exceptionally tall for a woman in her time standing nearly 6 feet tall. That doesn't even begin to describe the girl who portrays her on television.

Francis and His Appearance/Demeanor

Francis II was weak, sickly, short and uninterested in courtly things. Now that is not what the show portrays him as! Also to take one of the points down here, he did not have any mistresses. He was hardly married long enough to consummate his own marriage let alone be healthy long enough to prance around and have a vigorous sex life.

Bash

There is absolutely nothing to say about him because he did not exist. Diane de Poitiers did not have any known children other than from her marriage before Henry II came along. This is not to say that Mary was not known for her affairs but that happened in Scotland. I believe she was not as savy or hungry for power when she was in France like she was when she moved back to her homeland. This character Bash is just nonsense.

Oh The Accents

Why are French, Scottish and Italians speaking with British and American accents?!?!?! I mean come on!

Prom Dresses On A Soon-To-Be- Monarch and The Rest of the Court

The clothing designs are not just wrong but they are offensively ugly. At least on The Tudors they made things "sexy " for the show but attempted to stay within believable period piece clothing. In Reign, the girls hardly wear sleeves (French were SUPER Catholic so this is really bad) and a lot of them are wearing strapless prom like dresses! WTF? That doesn't even make sense. I understand they are trying to appeal to the teenage girls watching but please don't try to tell me that teenagers think ANY royal would wear a frilly prom like dress, especially in the 16th century.French fashion was sexy and all the rage then but not that sexy.

Where Are The Marys

I completely understand that naming 5 girls all Mary in a show about a girl named Mary is rough. I get it, but that was the names of Mary's ladies in waiting and her best friends to boot! Now at the very least the show could have added names that were 16th century Scottish or English but Lola? Kenna? Aylaa? Greer? Those don't even sound like names girls would have now let alone 500 years ago! The Marys didn't always get along perfectly (they are women after all) but they weren't completely the skeevy, oversexed bitches in this show. 

I do not like to complain unless a show is just outright wrong and strays too far from the story. I get that they are just trying to entertain a crowd. At the very least they should have looked at Mary's life, asked how they could make it more exciting (I don't know why you would need to. One of her real life lovers in Scotland was stabbed to death in front of her!) and then made a new person with similar qualities and called it truly fiction like the show is. It makes me so mad because those are things people believe. Those are things that people are insistent are true like Marie Antoinette having an affair with everyone and Anne Boleyn sleeping with everyone including her own brother and possibly being the daughter of her own husband. Use your artistic license and create a true and exciting story about Mary because she was absolutely nothing shy of fascinating!

That is my historical rant of the day! I hope you learned something! And if you didn't well here are some stories of mine.

29 November 2013

Jack

You sit in your kennel,
It is your warm little den.
Your sight is waning
But you're still my sweet old pup.

When we first met you were scared.
You didn't trust people,
They hurt you and hit you,
Yet you still fell in love with me.

I named you Jack
And loved you with all my might.
I comforted you through scary seizures,
You kissed my tears when people hurt me.

You are growing old my sweet pup,
But your love for me has only grown stronger.
I will love and care for you till the end,
Because you changed my life for the best.

30 November 2013

The Mermaid, The Seahorse and The Dolphin

The waves crashed and broke among the rocks near shore. Laughter could be heard in the distance and birds were screeching in the morning sun. It was a beautiful summer day for the entire seashore but the sea was telling Cordelia that there was a problem. Cordelia was a mermaid, a daughter of Poseidon, and she loved to travel the seas. Because she was a daughter of Poseidon, the sea sprites told her when there is good or when there is bad and today there was a bad message going through the sea.

“Naida we have to go. There is someone or something in trouble. We have to find them and help them.” Naida, the seahorse, and Cordelia were the best of friends. They did everything together including help the sprites solve the problems of the sea.

So off they went, following the flow of the ocean until they heard a sob far off in the distance. The push of the sprites got stronger and stronger until they came upon a baby dolphin. Weak, hungry and sad, the little baby dolphin wept near the surface slowing losing her will to keep going.

“Sweet baby, why are you crying? Where is your family? Dolphins travel in families my sweet, you shouldn't be alone,” said Cordelia.

“My family is gone. We were driven into a small cove. The people grabbed me from my family and dropped me out by myself far from my family. They are all gone in a sea of red,” said the sad baby dolphin. “Who are you?

“I am Cordelia Genevieve Ceto Oceane, daughter of Poseidon, goddess of the sea. The sprites tell me when they need my help and led me to you. This is my friend, Naida.” The baby dolphin was amazed to see them. Cordelia had long, waist length, blond hair. Her eyes were a glistening emerald green. She was covered with a bodice of green and blue sea glass and tiny shells all laced together with the best seaweed. Her tail was a vibrant and royal purple color with splashes of green throughout. She was so beautiful and the baby just loved looking at her. Naida complemented Cordelia very much she was was very purple with a blue streak down her back and blue eyes, brighter than the sky. “Sweet baby, what is your name?”

“I do not have one. I was just born when my family was taken from me and my mother never got to name me, Will you name me?”

“Hmm... now what shall we name her?” pondered Naida to Cordelia. “ We have to keep her and take care of her so we need a good name. A fitting name for our little blessing and miracle. We need a happy name, a beautiful name, a name that will make all smile when they hear it. How about Amia. It means beloved.

“That is beautiful Naida! What do you think sweet baby? Do you like the name Amia?” asked Cordelia.

“That is a wonderful name my friends! Are you going to help me from now on? Do I live with you now?”

“Yes, my sweet. You are now Amia, miracle of the sea, companion of Cordelia and Naida, joy to Poseidon. You will live with us and be safe with us. You see Amia, not all people are bad. Some still are. Some still harm the oceans and the seas but many protect it as well and we will help them to protect it. You are ours now and we will make a new family for you, my sweet,” said Cordelia to a no longer weeping Amia.

The mermaid, the seahorse and the dolphin swam off into the sunset. Cordelia and Naida showed Amia the happy people on the beaches. They showed her the smiling people on the ships. Best of all they showed her how great and beautiful the sea is and all the lands that touch the sea. They swam for days enjoying the happy feelings of the sprites in the seas.


1 December 2013

The Revolution

Chop! Yeah! Chop! Yeah! The day was long and hot. The fear was palpable and the smell of blood made Marie's head swirl in terror. The view from her jailed area was no better than what her senses gave her. Marie was labeled a royalist and for that she was going to die.

Royalist was a harsh word. Really she was a friend of the King's sister, Madame Élisabeth, and thus a royalist. Now all is lost. The king is dead. The queen is dead, accused of heinous crimes. The King's sister is dead. Thousands of people are dead. Most without a trial, including Marie.

Marie grew up with the royal family. She came from a wealthy family and the children of these families spent plenty of time at Versailles creating names for themselves and their families. Marie enjoyed her time at court. It was all she knew and her family made sure she spent plenty of time with the royal grandchildren of the Sun King.

Sadly, the Sun King died and left a tragic situation to his grandson and his Austrian granddaughter-in-law. France had no money. The new king and queen had no knowledge of how to run a country and were never taught how to be anything but the shining faces of a great kingdom. They were doomed.

The poor queen was gossiped about by everyone. She was said to be incompetent, she spent too much, she didn't care about the people, she didn't care about the elite, she slept with everyone, she was a foreigner so clearly she hated France, etc. So many hateful things were said about her but Marie loved her. The queen was an enigma, a great beauty! She was also very young and naïve when she was thrust into the strict and financially depleted world of France. Marie always loved that she shared a name with the Austrian queen of France.

The king did not fair much better. He was pressured from the three Estates to make changes in each of their own favors. He was pressured from the Americans to aid in their revolution. He was inexperienced, shy and rather unfortunate to not have the ability to be a strong leader, he really could not say no to any of the Estates, especially the first two. After depleting the royal treasury helping the Americans, a failure of the harvest caused famine with the people. This caused the city of Paris to go into great chaos. The guillotine only helped make that chaos as bloody as it could be.

Now in the midst of the Reign of Terror, anyone who ever showed favor with the royal family were being beheaded in mass executions. No trials. No help. Just death. This day was Marie's turn. As she was loaded into the cart with other victims, she remembered what the extremely devout Madame Élisabeth had been said to have done before her own execution commenced, Madame Élisabeth helped everyone she was with stay strong and repeated the De profundis until it was her turn to gracefully die.

Chop! Yeah! Chop! Yeah! Everyone in her cart cried. Most were her age. She kept them strong and remembered that soon the fear and terror would be over. De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine. The first went. Chop! Then the next. Chop! The crowd cheered for the hated royalists to die. Domine, exaudi vocem meam. Fiant aures tuæ intendentes. Marie continued to say the De profundis for the next chop and the next chop until it came her time. The crowd was ravenous and the metallic stench of death was overwhelming as she was strapped onto the board awaiting her death. In vocem deprecat....CHOP!

2 December 2013

Red Flower of the Mountains and The Birth of the Hummingbird

Long ago, in a time before man crossed the oceans to expand there lands, lived a girl named Red Flower of the Mountains. She lived in the high Andes mountains with her family and many different creatures. Red Flower of the Mountains got her name from her fiery red hair. Her skin was the smoothest almond color of all the land and her long hair was as dark as the night.

Red Flower lived in a great darkness. Her uncle ruled the land under a fierce hand. Everyday he sacrificed villagers and he kept all the food from them, providing only half rations per family. Red Flower lived in great sadness because her uncle murdered her whole family to gain his title. He kept her to one day make her his wife when she was old enough to provide him with children.

Everyday, Red Flower would climb to the tallest mountain and pray to Mother Earth for help and guidance. This day Mother Earth finally responded to Red Flower with a gift and a message.

“Today beautiful child of the mountain I will give you something to help your people. I can only give you this gift but you must make it the object that saves you and your people,” said Mother Earth. She handed Red Flower a tiny little egg. “This egg needs to be cared for. It needs to be nurtured and loved. I made this egg strong so you can keep it close your heart and safe from your evil uncle. Care as deeply for this egg as you do your people and a wonderful treasure will emerge from it. Many will follow. All will bring hope and strength to you and your people but only if you provide it with everything it needs. I need not tell you more. It is all within your soul what to do next.”

“But Moth...” whoosh and with the sound of the wind, Mother Earth was gone leaving only the tiny little egg behind. “I will nurture you and make you everything that my people need to survive these dark days.”

Each morning Red Flower would hold the egg close to her breast, breathing a rhythm into it and whispering sweet words. Each night she would cradle the egg in her warm hands preparing it for life. Then one morning there was a change. The wind blew lightly causing the leaves to float and the calm river to ripple. Her uncle was growing annoyed and began threatening another sacrifice to calm the fluttering wind.

“Gather the people Red Flower and tell them we are killing the most we have ever killed tonight! There will be bloodshed and destruction. If the wind is not satisfied with this I will kill more until she is!” Her uncle was infuriated that the leaves and river were dancing at an even faster pace now.

“I will do no such thing to my people you cruel beast!”

Smack! Her defiance provoked a slap louder than the thunder and a single drop of blood graced her tear streaked cheek. The slap also caused the egg to come loose from her hand and cracked on the ground.

“Oh no! You broke it! I failed! Mother Earth I am so sorry!” cried Red Flower, her tears even bolder now.

“What is this you are hiding from me? A tiny cracked egg. Ha! It is nothing now!” and with a squeeze her uncle crushed the egg and dropped the ashes from his cold hands. “The people needed to be gathered. I suggest you go now before the same thing happens to you.”

Red Flower was heartbroken. Defeated she crawled to the ashes of the egg she had been entrusted and cried hot, searing tears over it. Suddenly the ashes began shaking. Red Flower stopped crying and watched as a tiny bird formed from the hardened ash created by her tears. She had fixed it! The final thing the egg needed was her intense love. She had cared and nurtured it but she had not been able to give it the best feeling of love until it was lost. Until all her hope was vanquished.

The tiny little bird was extremely colorful. It had a red patch at its throat and was speckled in patches of blue and green iridescent feathers. Its wings flapped so fast that Red Flower could not keep up with it. Darting all over her with a heart beat that hummed a soothing but quick rhythmic tune. This little bird intensified her joy. It gave her the greatest feeling of hope since such a tiny thing could survive being crushed into dust. Most of all it inspired her to live and help her people live as well.

“I will name you Hummingbird for your lovely beating heart,” said Red Flower and with a kiss named the tiny bird. Just then the dancing leaves burst into hummingbirds. From the ripple of the water sprung hundreds of tiny humming birds. There were red ones, blue ones green ones, purple ones, hummingbirds of every color. The sound was exhilarating! All for the villagers gathered outside to see what the noise was and they were delighted at the colorful sight of tiny dancing and fluttering birds. The people felt the same joy, hope and life the birds had given Red Flower.

“What is this nonsense!” Screamed the uncle. “ I will sacrifice all of you today if I have to!” With that the birds stopped and began whizzing around and around the people. Their fear was gone! They began yelling at their leader. Their unity and strength caused the hummingbirds to descend on the uncle. A tornado of hummingbirds surrounded the uncle. He swatted at them but they were too fast. One at a time they pecked at him.

“Stop! Help me! Argh! Help me! Please! ARRRGHH!” POOF! The uncle, the evil and cruel leader vanished into a swarm of tiny bugs that the hummingbirds gladly ate up. The people cheered and peace was once again restored amongst them all.

The hummingbird is a beautiful bird. Thanks to Red Flower of the Mountains, this bird brings joy to all who see it. It gives everyone around it the gift of hope and a reason to celebrate life. The hummingbird's delicate nature and graceful flight bring beauty and laughter to everyone it comes in contact with. Most of all it reminds us of the peace we all must find within ourselves and all that is around us.

The End.

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