Fear Will Not Defeat Us For It Can Only Make Us Stronger

I thought very long and hard about my post to day and if I would even make a post today at all. I am an extremely sensitive person. You might hear about someone being hurt or dying and think "Wow that is sad" but for me emotional things, happy or sad, throw me into extremes. I feel overwhelming grief at sad things and overwhelming joy at happy things. I feel blessed to have these feelings but the past two days have been very rough for me emotionally.

On Thursday, 12 December 2013, I was informed by a childhood friend that the son of our girl scout leader had committed suicide. His name was Andy Aunkst and he had a form of autism called aspergers. I grew up with his family and my heart aches so badly for what they are going through. The Aunkst family are simply amazing people and so full of love. I pray for them to find peace and solace in such a difficult time.

The very next day, 13 December 2013, was the shooting at Arapahoe High School. My heart was so heavy all day over it. I remember the fear I had when Columbine happened. My school was on lock down. My substitute teacher that day had a daughter at Columbine who thankfully was one of the first out. My life was forever changed by that. Fear and schools are not two things that should go together but sadly we live in a world that makes them coexist. To hear about the shooting and remembering the Aurora Theater shooting, Columbine and the Deer Creek Middle School shooting have really left me wondering why we live this way and what can be done to change this.

Today, 14 December 2013, marks the one year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting that took the lives of 6 brave adults and 20 innocent children. This was the first time in my life that I have ever questioned God. I couldn't work. I couldn't eat. I sat in bed for days and cried. I cry now thinking of so much tragedy, senseless tragedy at that. I no longer question my faith. I understand things happen we can't control and we cannot break ourselves over trying to understand the madness of another. we just can't those 26 people are in peace and will forever remain as a symbol of hope and love.

These horrible, horrible things have made me a stronger person. Most of this stuff hasn't personally affected me but it has been a learning tool for me. I make everyday count with those that I love now. I am thankfully everyday that I am breathing and can make a difference to someone. I get angry less, I smile more, I try new things. I live because to me it is selfish not to. We have the opportunity to make every second count. Those of us alive right now, no matter your situation, have to live because it is a slap in the face of those who had their lives tragically cut short and to those who have survived these horrors. We owe it to all of them to stand up to fear and soak up all the world and life has to offer.

I dedicate this post mostly to Sandy Hook but also to the victims of the other shootings. I would also like to give a shout out to +Kristen Long. She is truly an inspirational person. She survived Columbine and is by far one of the strongest and most incredible women I have ever met. Currently she is helping her boyfriends daughter,who attends Arapahoe High School as a freshman I believe, deal with the aftermath of the Arapahoe shooting. I have so much respect for her and I feel honored and blessed to call Kristen my friend. This post is for you Kristen.

11 December 2013

Cricket

Cricket dances in the evening light. He plays his jig and tells us the air is warm. The tune he plays with his legs invites us to enjoy the cool summer nights. He practices his sensational hits each morning and, lucky for us, he perfects them each night. Cricket is the grand master of the summer symphony but he is not alone.

Cricket is a Casanova. We hear his songs as melodies to remind us the long days are a joy but we are not who cricket plays for. The quick whistle of his stringy legs are a serenade for his mate. A dance he plays to entice a companion.

He sees her there across the grass. Elegant and graceful as she is, he takes his cue and dances along the cement. Each strum of his instrument is a calculated move. Left, right, forward, sideways, he mesmerizes her with his quickening pace, all the while delighting us as his tune gets faster.

Closer and closer they get until finally they meet. She inspires him now to play his greatest song. The melody of summer. Crickets song gives us joy. His greatest talent though is serenading the night but never giving away the secret that is inspired by his love.

12 December 2013

Friends

My mom, your mom,

They are not the same.

My dad, your dad,

Never have they even met.

Yet here we are,

The best of friends.

My sister in heart,

Not close to being blood,

But thicker each day,

A bond unlike any other.

Created by commonalities,

Strengthened by comraderie.

I have felt your bliss,

You have helped me grieve.

Our laughter brought us close,

But our tears solidified us.

Friends through it all,

Even the bad,

I am grateful to have you,

My friend, my sister.

13 December 2013

In Our Darkness Comes The Light

Our world can be so cold,

So dark,

So bleak.

Death within our reach,

Destruction around each turn.

We hate and murder.

We destroy all that is beautiful.

Hope is obsolete.

But in the dark our eyes adjust,

We can see the break of light,

The soldier for optimism,

The reminder that life is still there.

So steer your gaze from the dark,

And feel joy of light.

Tomorrow brings new beginnings

And a chance for a better day.

14 December 2013

Innocence

Long ago, when gods and beasts ruled the land, Innocence was born. She sprang from the barren earth through a crack of the land after one sad fairy cried. That tear created something new and naïve about the world that none had seen before.

Innocence gave new life and meaning to the otherwise brutal world. She saw beauty in the rarest of places and never judged the creatures of earth. No matter the situation, Innocence could always find a reason to smile. The world was ready for Innocence but Evil would ascend upon her and change the world.

Evil was a wretched beast who bred Hate and Revenge. Hate and Revenge caused chaos across the lands and destroyed everything in their paths. Innocence had championed many destructions but Hate and Revenge were too powerful. Confused and sad by Hate and Revenge, Innocence crumbled into ash. Evil then approached and lit the ash of fire creating Depravity.

Depravity, Hate, Revenge and Evil ruled the land now and Innocence was gone. The fairies were now devastated after finding new beauty in such a cruel world. Their tears were unstoppable. The beasts tried to stomp them out but the tears had flowed. Innocence came back but not alone. There were many of her. She could be destroyed all the same but never gone for good because for every bad thing the beasts brought the earth Innocence came back to remind everyone how good life could be.

R.I.P. To the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. This story is in your honor. Gone but never forgotten: Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Anne Marie Murphy, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto, Benjamin Wheeler, Allison N. Wyatt.

 “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
― Bil Keane